Clockwork jammed by too many gaudy threads
The ribbons of thought
Sound, sight, knowledge-
What will happen next, what are they thinking, am I behaving correctly?
Which to prioritise, this or this or this or this TOO MUCH (or this or this) TOO FAST-
Untangle hands from wringing clawing mess,
Be rational and slow, it’s ok.
(They’ll notice, stopit-stopit-stupid-SHUTUP...)
Relax, it’ll untangle. It WILL untangle. Why won’t it untangle?
Ok, try to force it, push the slow rusting cogs round tighter tighter keep going
Just keep pushing them tighter until you’re free-
No, sticking sticking sticking STUCK
I’m sorry, I don’t know, I just- don’t know
Grasp hair, try to sigh it loose, blink,
I’m fine, just a bit tired
(Muffle the hysteria, strengthen the voice, hide the trembles)
Dodge the cannon balls of nothing and everything from all sides,
Scramble home and close the door
And slide down to sit in a silent gasping ball
Head between knees,
Let the sobs flow, tears to oil gears
Until the whirling stops
And eyes stare ahead,
And soft blinding echoes are all the evidence that remains.